"Come on in, make yourself at home, and take off your pants!" TV's Craig Ferguson

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Daily Motivation

"Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent persperation." Thomas Edison

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Motivational Quote of the Day

"[The] Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price." Vince Lombardi

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Motivational Quote of the Day

"'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit
harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter"
"Fighter" by Christina Aguilera

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Motivational Quote of the Day

“In order to live a full life there are three things you need to do every day. One, you need to laugh, two, you need to spend so time in thought, and three, you need to cry… If you can laugh, think, and cry in the same day then that’s a pretty full day!” Jim Valvano, basketball coach & cancer warrior

Monday, July 11, 2011

The Battle is On!!!

Dear readers, friends, and loved ones,

I am writing you today under some pretty dreadful circumstances. My girlfriend, who I playfully refer to as my queen on my blog, is quite ill. In 2006, my queen was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer which is quite rare and very serious for someone as young as she. To the best of our knowledge she had been in remission, although breast cancer is never considered "in remission" but only NED (No Evidence of Disease), for almost 3 and a half years, but Friday we received the official word that the cancer had returned. In 2006 and 2007 she had the infected breast removed and then for preventative measures had her non-infected breast removed, but now the cancer has spread to her lymph nodes. The good news is that the cancer is limited to the lymph nodes and can’t be detected anywhere else in the body. After the chemotherapy and the mastectomies, if any of that pesky cancer had survived it would end up in the lymph nodes, which is where it is. Through numerous scans (a thoracic MRI, a lumbar MRI, a bone scan, an abdominal CT, and a chest CT) it has been determined that there is no sign of cancer anywhere else in the body so the lymph nodes can be removed and any straggling cancer cells can be radiated.

This might sound awful, but this diagnosis does come as somewhat of a relief. First of all, for my queen to have cancer again and not have metastacisized throughout the body is truly a blessing. Furthermore, it has been so painful for my princess and I to watch as her health has deteriorated over the last 18-months with no explanation, but always the fear that the dreaded “C-word” had returned. My relief is also met with new found fears. This battle won’t be an easy one and will be very, very hard on my queen and difficult for my princess to watch. Furthermore, my queen had chemotherapy before and 5 years of tamoxifen, an estrogen re-uptake inhibitor designed to keep the body from fueling the cancer, and the scans indicated that the cancer was gone. Clearly the cancer was not gone and was strong enough to resist the scorched-earth methods of chemotherapy. Also, if this one little nodule was hiding undetectable in the lymph nodes for five years now, where else is it hiding?

The good news is that my queen, my princess, and I are happy and together TODAY and that is what is most important! This course of treatment will require surgery to remove the infected lymph nodes and then 30 to 40 days of radiation. Finally, because the hormone estrogen is what fuels breast cancer my queen will have to get her ovaries removed. I think this is what worries her most as we’re talking instant menopause, but we really have no choice in the matter.

In these situations, a lot of people want to know what they can do to help. We only ask that some of your thoughts, warm wishes, and positive energies be sent our way and maybe you could donate a pint of blood or two! Furthermore, I thoughtfully request that you don’t “go pink” on our behalf. Companies make millions and millions of dollars every year off of their “support Komen” items, but only donate a very small portion of the proceeds for cancer research. Furthermore, the last thing that a woman fighting breast cancer needs is more awareness. When a woman is forced to have what she perceives as the greatest essence of her femininity removed while forcing chemicals into her body that is designed to kill living cells with the nightmare of her children, her loved ones, her life snatched away at a moment’s notice I think these women could use a little ignorance instead of more awareness. As my good, good friend and cancer warrior Carolyn Chew has said a time or two before,
“Fuck awareness! Find a damn cure already!”

Finally, I just want to say that we appreciate your positive thoughts and warm wishes and please, please, please keep them coming! My queen and I are going to fight this with every ounce or strength and resource we have at our disposal or we’re going to go down swinging, together! In teaching my princess softball this spring I had to explain to her that it is okay to strike out as long as you go down swinging because that is where you draw experience and where you draw strength. You never really know how precious life is until you have to earn another day. Life is precious, life is valuable, and I look forward to fighting for many, many more days for both my queen and I!

Check out this link for a blog I wrote about YSC, in my opinion the best breast cancer organization out there!!!

http://theandiestashby.blogspot.com/2009/03/to-be-in-presence-of-heroes-and-angels.html


"Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it
cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are
going to carry on forever…." — Jim Valvano, 1993


Sunday, June 19, 2011

Thought of the Day... Inspired by The Green Lantern

If aliens are such superior, advanced beings then why do they keep crashing on our planet? Humans have been successfully landing aircraft on this planet for decades and most of them are intoxicated :D

The movie was great though.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

How to say thank you...

Things have been rough for my queen and I lately, so much so that it has caused me to lose faith in myself and humanity in general. Life seems to be more expensive than either of us can afford sometimes, our physical health has been one catastrophe after another, and though I can't speak for my queen I feel like we as a couple or individuals could use ONE win every once in a while. It's because of this that my mental and emotional state has been from questionable to technically unstable. I have felt that when the lights go out and everyone is asleep I begin to feel so alone as despair sets in and I start to question my existence and purpose on this planet.

So it turns out that my medical problems are attributed to unexplained anemia, which is quite rare for a 30-year-old man that hasn't had a period in years! My queen on the other hand has learned her medical problems are due to gallstones. A month and a half ago, my queen started demonstrating debilitating painful symptoms of gallstones as the timing belt snapped on her car. Since we lack the thousand dollars to fix it, I am doing it myself. The problem is that I have fat fingers working on a 15 year old minivan with rusted out bolts and minimum mechanical experience. My queen had surgery on Friday and is still experiencing side-effects from the anaesthesia and the ball-bearings went out on my truck yesterday making a twenty minute drive from work an hour-and-a-half (at 15 MPH)and our only mode of transportation inoperable!

So with the prospects of our only form of transportation, Rosie's mom, leaving today I stayed up all night trying to get Rosie's car working but that nasty crankshaft pulley bolt just wouldn't budge, and it still won't. After three hours of trying I sat on the front step, smoked a cigarette, and cried for a while wondering how I/we were ever going to make it and whether it was even worth it to try! So at the risk of my self-destructive tendencies taking over with a vengeance, I took one my legally prescribed anti-anxiety drugs and got some sleep. So this morning I awoke and drove my queen's mom's car to the hardware store and rigged up a device to finally defy that nasty crankshaft bolt, but then I went back to bed for an unnecessary 6-hour depression/hopelessness nap. As I awoke, feeling even worse about myself than before, a member of our church was arriving with another hot meal for my queen and I along with a little gift from an anonymous source!

Now I can't disclose the nature of the gift, but I also can't tell you how much it will help and how it is helped already! The worst part about depression, especially the hopelessness aspect, is the nightmare of feeling like you're all alone in the world with no prospect of effecting your future. To our friends and family members, and I mean family members very liberally, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for your warm thoughts, hard efforts, delicious meals (I definitely want some recipes), and most importantly your love and compassion!

Now it wouldn't be the aspiring therapist in me if I didn't remind those struggling with depression and hopelessness, as I need to remind myself, that you can't always wait for goodness to find you to get yourself out of your funk; sometimes you've got to get yourself out. Be mindful, though, of how you feel when someone extends their hand to you, so that when the opportunity presents itself that you might be able to extend your hand to somebody is in the same position that you currently or previously reside. You just don't know how a little generosity, or in our case a lot of generosity, can make somebody's day. In my case it saved somebody's life!

My thanks and best wishes,
Andy