"Come on in, make yourself at home, and take off your pants!" TV's Craig Ferguson

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Quote Book

"Hail to the chief he's the one we all say "hail" to..." Dave

"What we do in life.... echoes into eternity." Maximus from Gladiator

"Webcams are a perfectly good waste of poor moral judgment." Me

"Just be the ball and throw yourself." Mr. T

"Be excellent to each other." Bill and Ted in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

"Wally Balls is gonna bring the 1970's class BACK to porn!" Billy Walsh in the TV show Entourage

"Yum! Hilton cookies! They taste like Paris Hilton sat on each one herself!" - Milf after the Colts/Titans game in Nashville

"Fuck you four horsemen....... I am the four horsemen." (my 21st birthday after 22 shots)

"if you keep drinking at this rate; then I hope you shave your pubes..... 'cause they're gonna be shaved when you wake up!!!!"

"Man, she has really put on some weight..... I love it when girls come down to my level!"

Hyk ==> "Don't talk about it; be about it"

Ian ==> "If I died, would you stuff me with peanut butter, wrap me in chocolate, and burry me in an orange body bag? 'Cause I love Resse Cups!"

Ian==> "I'd like to say as a general rule that I would never do anything like that....... but I do drink alot."

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Paul Gross==> "Ashby, let me help you. We need to get you out of here."

Me==> "Fuck you! I'm fine! Leave me alone!"

Paul Gross==> "You realize you're passed out on the floor in front of everybody don't you?"

Me==> "Oh, I think I need help getting out of here."

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Nurse==> "Any ideas how opium got into your blookwork?"

Me==> "Nope"

Nurse==> "How could you not know if you've smoked opium or not?"

Me==> "Because I thought I was smoking weed......"

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Ian's mom==> "Ian, its ten o'clock and you're drunk already?"

Ian==> "Actually mom, I'm not drunk. I've really had more prescription pain pills than alcohol!"

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Biggler==> "What is this?"

Me==> "Its a cement mixer"

Biggler==>"I thought you were buying us liquid cocaines"

Me==>"Well, I thought liquid cocaine, but it came out cement mixer"

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Coleman==> "I just wanna go out with a big group of people! Its better with a big group of people." (Then repeat fifteen times in a span of five minutes)

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"Am I in the hospital or the morgue?" Me

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Hyk==> (says to somebody) "You missed it! There was some 35 year old lady taking a shit in there so we opened the door and took a picture!"

Lady==>(comes out of the shitter knowing she'd been photographed) "35 years old! I'm more like 55! Would you like to meet my daughter?"

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"I'm so wasted that I think I look good!"

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Girl==> "I always wanted to make out with you in high school, but you've put on some weight."

Me==> "Make out with your eyes closed and pretend we're back in high school"

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"I'm so pissed! My girlfriend's husband ate all my animal crackers!" our buddy Junior