One Sexy, Sexy Scapegoat

So, it turns that I've been living under a massive rock, because I've just learned of this Erin Andrews tape. For those of you who aren't familiar, Erin Andrews is a very, very attractive sideline reporter for ESPN and ABC Sports. I'll be upfront and honest and say that I've absolutely wanted to see her naked from the moment I noticed her reporting live from Assembly Hall in Bloomington while she covered an IU basketball game, but that is neither here nor there. Recently, Ms. Andrews privacy was violated as some unknown perpetrator videotaped her dressing in her hotel room through the peephole and then released that video on the Internet where it became available for every tech savvy, and in some cases not-so-savvy, male with testosterone and excitement pumping through their veins to achieve what they'd always imagined as they'd watch college basketball games they didn't even care about, just to catch a glimpse of this gorgeous young woman.

Now, I'll admit that I wish I was at the front of the Internet instead of all the way in the rear because I don't think I'll get a chance to view this ill-gotten good, but the thing that amuses me about this story is that lawyers from ESPN and ABC are doing all that they can to get this clip removed from every website that posts it. In thinking of those attorneys, I wonder what it must feel like to be on the other side of the legal issues of privacy and the media. The corporate lawyers for the news outlets have practiced the arguments and legal points over an individuals right to privacy, specifically public figures, and the freedom of the press down to such an exact science that they don't even need to try anymore. If a public figure ever summons up the audacity to challenge the media for making public a private matter, all the lawyers have to do is go to their records, print out the last brief they filed, and cross out the old complainant's name and write in the new. The courts will side with the media and another private matter becomes very public so that a few more newspapers can be sold or the price of commercial time on the cable news networks goes up a percentage point. These news outlets are actually fighting against one of their fundamental ideals; just not when it happens to one of them; especially not one of their favorites.

I remember a couple years ago, a local news station hid a few cameras on themselves and then followed a local fire chief as he played golf with some friends and then ate dinner at a local bar, all the while consuming moderate amounts of alcohol and driving a city vehicle. The local station never reported on how much he actually consumed or over what span of time. He was never charged with a crime and consuming alcohol and driving a city vehicle wasn't even against the rules, as long as he wasn't over the legal limit. Nonetheless, it was an expose on the six o'clock news and the fire chief ultimately lost his position. I was enraged and contacted the TV station complaining of underhanded investigating and trashy journalism. The TV station was nice enough to reply to my complaint in a form letter that essentially stated: PUBLIC FIGURES DON'T HAVE A RIGHT TO PRIVACY.

It is absolutely nobodies business how Bristol Palin is in bed, how much she used birth control, where she had sex, and who she did it with. It is nobodies business how Anna Nicole Smith, her son, John Travolta's son, or Michael Jackson died. Who is banging, or isn't banging for that matter, whom isn't anybodies damn business except the people involved, but the media seems to make it our business for the purpose of selling magazines. Celebrity porn isn't dignified enough for mainstream media, but whether or not Clay Aiken is gay is every one's business. I've gotten so tired of this behavior that I was actually thinking of starting an organisation whose only purpose was to dig up dirt on members of the media. We would do a weekly newsletter that highlighted a different member of the press and reveal who they were sleeping with, the health and sexual orientation of their kids, even unpaid parking tickets! After the past few days, it really seems like they're already getting a piece of their own medicine.

It is really too bad for Ms. Andrews, but I'm going to absolutely enjoy watching this whole saga unfold. The media has become so trashy and unconscionable that there is no trick left to stop this from coming out because they've spent millions upon millions of dollars to successful argue against any motion that they themselves make. Personally, I'm hoping the pervert that took this video comes forward and asks for legal protection under the first amendment and the freedom of information act. Then and only then will it make an irony sandwich big enough for every member of the media to take a bite!

Enjoy your dinner.... This one is on the house.