Thanks, but I'm holding out for Dr. Phil..... Just kidding :)

A few months ago, my girlfriend and I were getting in the car and she told me, "baby, when you're famous, I don't want anything special. Just to get to sit in Oprah's green room when you go on the show."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked.

"If you keep losing all this weight, " she responded, "you're gonna be on Oprah for sure.... Plus you're just a damn rock star!"

I thought she was out of her mind, but it turns she wasn't to far off, again. When my girlfriend and I were at the young survivors conference in Dallas, a couple representatives from a center in North Carolina, where I started my new life, called and asked me if I could go on Oprah!

I've mentioned this place when I first started blogging and I should explain a little more. It was a residential weight loss center in Durham, North Carolina. There was no surgery. No trick diets. No gimmicks. It was really like a Weight Watchers (registered trademark) Hotel with every different kind of doctor, physical and psychological, nutritionists, trainers, and "relaxation specialists (massage, reflexology, & ect.)." It was a great place for me to get the advice and help I needed to get started overcoming my "one million mistakes." The best part about it was the math was so simple. "You weigh this much, you're this tall, you're this old, you need this many calories to maintain your weight. Eat less and you'll loose weight. Add exercise and you'll lose more weight. It's going to be hard, but you can do it!" Their whole concentration is on the behavior of overindulging. Their approach was if you figure out why you aren't taking care of yourself, you can build yourself up emotionally and weight loss would be a byproduct. I thought it was a good theory then and 175 pounds later and think it was truly the best thing that ever happened to me.

So, Oprah's show started contacting these sorts of places for people that have lost a bunch of weight and they wanted me to go on the show! Oprah was looking for people that had lost some substantial weight already and still had some weight loss to go. I, for example, have another 100 pounds to lose. They would highlight me and the facility I started at and then track my progress. I was so moved by the honor of even being offered, but I had to politely decline.

You see, I've never been focused on losing weight. I've always been focused on improving myself emotionally, by actually taking care of myself and putting myself before all others (in my own mind), and the weight would come off. I don't freak out when I put on a pound or two because I know I didn't overeat by 7,000 calories and my weight just isn't that important to me. My physical and emotional health is, but my weight is just one factor and as all the other factors in my life come into harmony (lets all hug trees) then my weight will come to a healthier level, as it has already made a very large shift in the healthy direction. I realized that with the national spotlight, there would be an incredible pressure for me to lose weight and that pressure was going to cause me to start looking at my weight differently. I still have a lot of things to do before I'm 30 and having the nation follow me around will just slow me down and cause me to lose my focus. That reminds me, I need to post my top 10 things to do before I'm 30 (even though there are 12 now). So, I sent back the following reply:

"I just saw your message and (name removed) just called me. I'm sorry, but I have to say no. I believe that this last 100 pounds is going to be my hardest to lose and I really just don't need that sort of complication in my life. Plus, that sort of publicity and attention would be just the excuse I'm always looking for to take a break from this endeavor. I can't afford to mess this up because I think it really is my last shot to get my life under control. Thank you for the offer, but I respectfully have to decline.

Sincerely,
Andy Ashby"


You readers might have thought you were in the "IN" crowd by following some writer before he became famous, but I'm happy to say you're stuck with little (ironically still) 'ole me. Once I'm at a point where I've found center in my life, or even when my antidepressant/sleep medication isn't changing every three months, then I can start putting myself out there for whomever to examine. For now, I think I'm just going to stick to my computer and let my writing tell my stories.

We'll meet someday, Oprah.... I promise!