Why I hate new semesters...

1.) Re-remembering how heavy my circa-2003 laptop is by the throbbing muscles in my middle back.
2.) Hearing the words dude, bro (pronounced bra), what up?, tight, dawg, or "Oh... my god!"
3.) $32.78 for single-subject notebooks, folders, pens, and pencils.
4.) SCANTRONS
5.) Dealing with the folks that don't believe they should pay extra for parking by tailgating me into parking garages.
6.) Having my syllabus read to me.
7.) The word "jagtag" re-enters my vocabulary (I find it hilarious that university employees don't understand when I refer to a jagtag as my "university issued identification card").
8.) Staring up the school bus steps.
9a.) Feeling obese and decrepit because I have classes with girls, not women, that I could devour over the length of a football game while LEGALLY consuming alcohol.
9b.) Starting another semester being constantly reminded that I can't yet fit into Hurley and Abercrombie.
10.) You know what? Think of your own damn list cause I've got enough writing to do this semester!!!

And with that, the life-improvement roller coaster keeps on chuggin' along...