So, in the past week, we’ve witnessed the passing and burial of Massachusetts senator Edward Moore “Teddy” Kennedy and now New England Patriot middle linebacker Tedy Bruschi will announce, at noon today, his retirement from the NFL.
And while people in New England are walking just a step slower from mild depression, the rest of the country including Colts fans and the supporters of the other 30 teams in the NFL celebrate over their tears. I never thought that the way to make pompous elitists cry, and I’m speaking Patriot fans here, was to take away their Tedy!!!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
A Little Late to the Party
It's a little late, but I've reached a fairly major milestone in my life! Now, I'll admit that it's a milestone that should have been attained nearly 18 years ago, but it feels good to be part of the club. Tonight, for the first time in my entire life, I flossed my teeth,without even being told. No kidding; tonight, I actually flossed, brushed, and mouthwashed and my mouth feels absolutely fantastic!
Now that I've revealed this completely embarrassing little truth, I should get to why this is so important before you walk away in disgust. One of the major problems with depression is lack of motivation and I think my depression is one of the contributing factors to why I never grasped that fundamental concept as I grew older. I was always cutting corners as a teenager. I worked harder at avoiding work than actually doing the job I was tasked. I, as well as my immediate family, would and did call that lazy. The fact of that matter is, I grew up without any desire to improve myself. None! Work always led to rewards that just didn't call to me; satisfaction, a feeling of accomplishment, pride. Nothing.
There is this anti-drug commercial where this pet is talking to it's teenage owner about how he wishes the kid would quit smoking dope. When you see the teenager, he's this pancake thin figure that appears to be molded to the couch. That commercial feels so very familiar because I spent years and years feeling that way, and I just assumed it was normal.
On a biophysical level, depression will slow or halt the transmission of electrons through the neuropathways in the brain so the longer you live in a depressed state, the less your brain in able to perform.
As this fog of depression is lifting, my mind and my emotions are finally waking up. I'm understanding concepts that I failed to grasp and I'm actually experiencing real emotions like fear, anxiety, happiness,and joy! Life is actually worth living. It is such an incredible experience to slowly wake from this two decade slumber and to begin making a difference in my life. I'm now motivated to achieve amazing things for the personal satisfaction and the help I could be to others instead of wanting to be at the top so my worthless live could be easier to manage.
It should be mentioned that even though I discuss the issues, mistakes, and misdeeds that I've had or made while trapped inside this depressive fog, I make no attempt to excuse or justify my behavior. Though the decisions I've made in my life might not have been made in a suitable environment, the poor choices that I've made are my responsibility and mine alone.....
That said, I contently set and watch as this day draws to a close with excitement and anticipation of the uncertainty that lies just beyond the horizon. Now that the sun has finally come into focus from behind the clouds, I'm fairly certain that I've got at least a "punchers chance" at making a difference and that means everything to me! Flossing felt so great that I think I'll do it again tomorrow!!!
Now that I've revealed this completely embarrassing little truth, I should get to why this is so important before you walk away in disgust. One of the major problems with depression is lack of motivation and I think my depression is one of the contributing factors to why I never grasped that fundamental concept as I grew older. I was always cutting corners as a teenager. I worked harder at avoiding work than actually doing the job I was tasked. I, as well as my immediate family, would and did call that lazy. The fact of that matter is, I grew up without any desire to improve myself. None! Work always led to rewards that just didn't call to me; satisfaction, a feeling of accomplishment, pride. Nothing.
There is this anti-drug commercial where this pet is talking to it's teenage owner about how he wishes the kid would quit smoking dope. When you see the teenager, he's this pancake thin figure that appears to be molded to the couch. That commercial feels so very familiar because I spent years and years feeling that way, and I just assumed it was normal.
On a biophysical level, depression will slow or halt the transmission of electrons through the neuropathways in the brain so the longer you live in a depressed state, the less your brain in able to perform.
As this fog of depression is lifting, my mind and my emotions are finally waking up. I'm understanding concepts that I failed to grasp and I'm actually experiencing real emotions like fear, anxiety, happiness,and joy! Life is actually worth living. It is such an incredible experience to slowly wake from this two decade slumber and to begin making a difference in my life. I'm now motivated to achieve amazing things for the personal satisfaction and the help I could be to others instead of wanting to be at the top so my worthless live could be easier to manage.
It should be mentioned that even though I discuss the issues, mistakes, and misdeeds that I've had or made while trapped inside this depressive fog, I make no attempt to excuse or justify my behavior. Though the decisions I've made in my life might not have been made in a suitable environment, the poor choices that I've made are my responsibility and mine alone.....
That said, I contently set and watch as this day draws to a close with excitement and anticipation of the uncertainty that lies just beyond the horizon. Now that the sun has finally come into focus from behind the clouds, I'm fairly certain that I've got at least a "punchers chance" at making a difference and that means everything to me! Flossing felt so great that I think I'll do it again tomorrow!!!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
"Do not take with alcohol....."
So, as you know from following my blog, I've been on antidepressants for almost 18 months now and on the label is clearly says, "do not take with alcohol." Every time that I have to go to the doctor for a refill she says, "now be sure not to take this with alcohol." So, what do I go out and do?....... That's right, I take it with alcohol.
Because of my lifetime body correction program, I don't drink that often, but I have noticed that being drunk just hasn't been the same. I feel so much more happy when I'm intoxicated. Now before I'm hauled off to Alcoholics Annonymous, let me explain. Now that I've made such strides in improving my life emotional and physically, I feel so much happier when I happen to be intoxicated now compared to when I was intoxicated before I got control of my life. I might have seemed fun before, but to be honest, I was just so damn angry! Now, all of the anger seems to be gone and when I drink, it's just happiness, for the most part, and I'm a lot less uninhibited than I was before. The hangovers have been worse though, but I figured it was from not drinking as much anymore.
As I've mentioned recently, I've just discovered an allergy to wheat; so no beer! So, I've had to switch to rum for occasions that call for mass consumption of alcohol. Saturday night was my first "no beer night" and I'm so ashamed at my behavior. I'm not going to go into details, because I don't remember most of them, but one moment I was fine and the next I was plowed beyond all recognition! I felt so incredible! I guess the alcohol intensifies the effects of the heavy amount of antidepressants I take and I felt on top of the world. Half way into the night, I was walking the streets wondering if I had taken ectascy, because emotionally, it's what I felt like.
Yes, to answer your question right now, I've taken ectasy! Back to the story....
I knew I was becoming a burden to my friends, so I got a cab back to my vehicle, climbed into the bed of the truck, and slept (quite uncomfortably). As great as I had felt the night before, I felt the polar opposite the next day. The hangover quickly ended, but emotionally I was in the toilet. I spent the next day and a half in this horrible, terrifying haze of depression, pain, and despair, and the worst part was that I absolutely knew better! I finally took something which killed the depression / anxiety, and managed 12 plus hours of sleep before I got back to my good 'ole self again.
So, it's with that story in mind that I officially hang up my Lambda Chi drinkin' shoes for good. I've got too many good things in my life now to start playing games with my sanity and emotional wellbeing. The thing is that I know that with my family history of depression, this isn't a temporary decision. That thought makes me somewhat sad because even with all the pain in my past, I have so many good memories with my brothers at Lambda Chi Alpha, and a lot of them have alcohol involved in some way or another.
Now, at this point, the former President of the chapter is jumping up and down in front of his computer screaming, "I told you so! I told you so!" because he and I used to argue in college because he was trying to change the "drunkerd" mentality of the house and I just couldn't understand why. Looking back, if only I had some sober memories with my brothers, then I might not feel that ending this tradition means I'm ending my place within the fraternity. Now any public service manager of any chapter would jump in and mention all of the good things that Lambda Chi does for the community and how important brotherhood is, and they're absolutely right. Fraternity does have an incredible amount of positive qualities and traditions beyond alcohol, but in college I was too busy with the bad traditions to commit some of the better traditions to heart.
The good news is that alcohol, cab fare, and 1:30am munchie food is expensive. My only problem now is I need to think of a new excuse to lay on the couch and watch football instead of working on the jobs on my "honey-do list." Now, I just need to be ready for when Hank Williams sings, " Andy, why do you drink?" so I can scream, "I don't!"
I'm reminded of that line in the movie Road Trip, "Josh.... this is college. The window of opportunity to drink, do drugs, and take advantage of unsuspecting young women is getting smaller by the day. In ten years, we're going to have to pay for these kind of girls!" And since I'm probably going to hell already, I'll tie that quote into the Sound of Music, "when the lord closes a door; he always opens a window...."
To be fair, it is my list and I'm the one giving myself a hard time for not getting this stuff done, but that is another issue for a different day!
Because of my lifetime body correction program, I don't drink that often, but I have noticed that being drunk just hasn't been the same. I feel so much more happy when I'm intoxicated. Now before I'm hauled off to Alcoholics Annonymous, let me explain. Now that I've made such strides in improving my life emotional and physically, I feel so much happier when I happen to be intoxicated now compared to when I was intoxicated before I got control of my life. I might have seemed fun before, but to be honest, I was just so damn angry! Now, all of the anger seems to be gone and when I drink, it's just happiness, for the most part, and I'm a lot less uninhibited than I was before. The hangovers have been worse though, but I figured it was from not drinking as much anymore.
As I've mentioned recently, I've just discovered an allergy to wheat; so no beer! So, I've had to switch to rum for occasions that call for mass consumption of alcohol. Saturday night was my first "no beer night" and I'm so ashamed at my behavior. I'm not going to go into details, because I don't remember most of them, but one moment I was fine and the next I was plowed beyond all recognition! I felt so incredible! I guess the alcohol intensifies the effects of the heavy amount of antidepressants I take and I felt on top of the world. Half way into the night, I was walking the streets wondering if I had taken ectascy, because emotionally, it's what I felt like.
Yes, to answer your question right now, I've taken ectasy! Back to the story....
I knew I was becoming a burden to my friends, so I got a cab back to my vehicle, climbed into the bed of the truck, and slept (quite uncomfortably). As great as I had felt the night before, I felt the polar opposite the next day. The hangover quickly ended, but emotionally I was in the toilet. I spent the next day and a half in this horrible, terrifying haze of depression, pain, and despair, and the worst part was that I absolutely knew better! I finally took something which killed the depression / anxiety, and managed 12 plus hours of sleep before I got back to my good 'ole self again.
So, it's with that story in mind that I officially hang up my Lambda Chi drinkin' shoes for good. I've got too many good things in my life now to start playing games with my sanity and emotional wellbeing. The thing is that I know that with my family history of depression, this isn't a temporary decision. That thought makes me somewhat sad because even with all the pain in my past, I have so many good memories with my brothers at Lambda Chi Alpha, and a lot of them have alcohol involved in some way or another.
Now, at this point, the former President of the chapter is jumping up and down in front of his computer screaming, "I told you so! I told you so!" because he and I used to argue in college because he was trying to change the "drunkerd" mentality of the house and I just couldn't understand why. Looking back, if only I had some sober memories with my brothers, then I might not feel that ending this tradition means I'm ending my place within the fraternity. Now any public service manager of any chapter would jump in and mention all of the good things that Lambda Chi does for the community and how important brotherhood is, and they're absolutely right. Fraternity does have an incredible amount of positive qualities and traditions beyond alcohol, but in college I was too busy with the bad traditions to commit some of the better traditions to heart.
The good news is that alcohol, cab fare, and 1:30am munchie food is expensive. My only problem now is I need to think of a new excuse to lay on the couch and watch football instead of working on the jobs on my "honey-do list." Now, I just need to be ready for when Hank Williams sings, " Andy, why do you drink?" so I can scream, "I don't!"
I'm reminded of that line in the movie Road Trip, "Josh.... this is college. The window of opportunity to drink, do drugs, and take advantage of unsuspecting young women is getting smaller by the day. In ten years, we're going to have to pay for these kind of girls!" And since I'm probably going to hell already, I'll tie that quote into the Sound of Music, "when the lord closes a door; he always opens a window...."
To be fair, it is my list and I'm the one giving myself a hard time for not getting this stuff done, but that is another issue for a different day!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
One Sexy, Sexy Scapegoat
So, it turns that I've been living under a massive rock, because I've just learned of this Erin Andrews tape. For those of you who aren't familiar, Erin Andrews is a very, very attractive sideline reporter for ESPN and ABC Sports. I'll be upfront and honest and say that I've absolutely wanted to see her naked from the moment I noticed her reporting live from Assembly Hall in Bloomington while she covered an IU basketball game, but that is neither here nor there. Recently, Ms. Andrews privacy was violated as some unknown perpetrator videotaped her dressing in her hotel room through the peephole and then released that video on the Internet where it became available for every tech savvy, and in some cases not-so-savvy, male with testosterone and excitement pumping through their veins to achieve what they'd always imagined as they'd watch college basketball games they didn't even care about, just to catch a glimpse of this gorgeous young woman.
Now, I'll admit that I wish I was at the front of the Internet instead of all the way in the rear because I don't think I'll get a chance to view this ill-gotten good, but the thing that amuses me about this story is that lawyers from ESPN and ABC are doing all that they can to get this clip removed from every website that posts it. In thinking of those attorneys, I wonder what it must feel like to be on the other side of the legal issues of privacy and the media. The corporate lawyers for the news outlets have practiced the arguments and legal points over an individuals right to privacy, specifically public figures, and the freedom of the press down to such an exact science that they don't even need to try anymore. If a public figure ever summons up the audacity to challenge the media for making public a private matter, all the lawyers have to do is go to their records, print out the last brief they filed, and cross out the old complainant's name and write in the new. The courts will side with the media and another private matter becomes very public so that a few more newspapers can be sold or the price of commercial time on the cable news networks goes up a percentage point. These news outlets are actually fighting against one of their fundamental ideals; just not when it happens to one of them; especially not one of their favorites.
I remember a couple years ago, a local news station hid a few cameras on themselves and then followed a local fire chief as he played golf with some friends and then ate dinner at a local bar, all the while consuming moderate amounts of alcohol and driving a city vehicle. The local station never reported on how much he actually consumed or over what span of time. He was never charged with a crime and consuming alcohol and driving a city vehicle wasn't even against the rules, as long as he wasn't over the legal limit. Nonetheless, it was an expose on the six o'clock news and the fire chief ultimately lost his position. I was enraged and contacted the TV station complaining of underhanded investigating and trashy journalism. The TV station was nice enough to reply to my complaint in a form letter that essentially stated: PUBLIC FIGURES DON'T HAVE A RIGHT TO PRIVACY.
It is absolutely nobodies business how Bristol Palin is in bed, how much she used birth control, where she had sex, and who she did it with. It is nobodies business how Anna Nicole Smith, her son, John Travolta's son, or Michael Jackson died. Who is banging, or isn't banging for that matter, whom isn't anybodies damn business except the people involved, but the media seems to make it our business for the purpose of selling magazines. Celebrity porn isn't dignified enough for mainstream media, but whether or not Clay Aiken is gay is every one's business. I've gotten so tired of this behavior that I was actually thinking of starting an organisation whose only purpose was to dig up dirt on members of the media. We would do a weekly newsletter that highlighted a different member of the press and reveal who they were sleeping with, the health and sexual orientation of their kids, even unpaid parking tickets! After the past few days, it really seems like they're already getting a piece of their own medicine.
It is really too bad for Ms. Andrews, but I'm going to absolutely enjoy watching this whole saga unfold. The media has become so trashy and unconscionable that there is no trick left to stop this from coming out because they've spent millions upon millions of dollars to successful argue against any motion that they themselves make. Personally, I'm hoping the pervert that took this video comes forward and asks for legal protection under the first amendment and the freedom of information act. Then and only then will it make an irony sandwich big enough for every member of the media to take a bite!
Enjoy your dinner.... This one is on the house.
Now, I'll admit that I wish I was at the front of the Internet instead of all the way in the rear because I don't think I'll get a chance to view this ill-gotten good, but the thing that amuses me about this story is that lawyers from ESPN and ABC are doing all that they can to get this clip removed from every website that posts it. In thinking of those attorneys, I wonder what it must feel like to be on the other side of the legal issues of privacy and the media. The corporate lawyers for the news outlets have practiced the arguments and legal points over an individuals right to privacy, specifically public figures, and the freedom of the press down to such an exact science that they don't even need to try anymore. If a public figure ever summons up the audacity to challenge the media for making public a private matter, all the lawyers have to do is go to their records, print out the last brief they filed, and cross out the old complainant's name and write in the new. The courts will side with the media and another private matter becomes very public so that a few more newspapers can be sold or the price of commercial time on the cable news networks goes up a percentage point. These news outlets are actually fighting against one of their fundamental ideals; just not when it happens to one of them; especially not one of their favorites.
I remember a couple years ago, a local news station hid a few cameras on themselves and then followed a local fire chief as he played golf with some friends and then ate dinner at a local bar, all the while consuming moderate amounts of alcohol and driving a city vehicle. The local station never reported on how much he actually consumed or over what span of time. He was never charged with a crime and consuming alcohol and driving a city vehicle wasn't even against the rules, as long as he wasn't over the legal limit. Nonetheless, it was an expose on the six o'clock news and the fire chief ultimately lost his position. I was enraged and contacted the TV station complaining of underhanded investigating and trashy journalism. The TV station was nice enough to reply to my complaint in a form letter that essentially stated: PUBLIC FIGURES DON'T HAVE A RIGHT TO PRIVACY.
It is absolutely nobodies business how Bristol Palin is in bed, how much she used birth control, where she had sex, and who she did it with. It is nobodies business how Anna Nicole Smith, her son, John Travolta's son, or Michael Jackson died. Who is banging, or isn't banging for that matter, whom isn't anybodies damn business except the people involved, but the media seems to make it our business for the purpose of selling magazines. Celebrity porn isn't dignified enough for mainstream media, but whether or not Clay Aiken is gay is every one's business. I've gotten so tired of this behavior that I was actually thinking of starting an organisation whose only purpose was to dig up dirt on members of the media. We would do a weekly newsletter that highlighted a different member of the press and reveal who they were sleeping with, the health and sexual orientation of their kids, even unpaid parking tickets! After the past few days, it really seems like they're already getting a piece of their own medicine.
It is really too bad for Ms. Andrews, but I'm going to absolutely enjoy watching this whole saga unfold. The media has become so trashy and unconscionable that there is no trick left to stop this from coming out because they've spent millions upon millions of dollars to successful argue against any motion that they themselves make. Personally, I'm hoping the pervert that took this video comes forward and asks for legal protection under the first amendment and the freedom of information act. Then and only then will it make an irony sandwich big enough for every member of the media to take a bite!
Enjoy your dinner.... This one is on the house.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
A Bittersweet Relief: A End to my Personal Hell
11 months ago, the rambling weight loss train I was riding came to a very abrupt and difficult stop. I was losing about 2 and a half pounds a week until the beginning of August when the weight loss stopped. I tried all sorts of changes in diet and exercise, but to no avail. I saw a nutritionist, an endocrinologist, had all sorts of blood work, and even worked out with a trainer, but nothing I did could move the scale. As September rolled into October, I started insisting to my physician that something wasn't right, but all she had to offer is her nagging suggestions to have bariatric surgery.
By November, still with no weight loss, I started developing sinus infection after sinus infection. By February, the infection had spread to my eye and caused my right eye to swell shut. My eye was so badly damaged that I couldn't read or use a computer almost a month. So, I was referred to an opthamologist who referred me to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. After rounds and round of antibiotics and cortical steroids, I still saw no improvement. By this time I started gaining weight at a rate of about 3 pounds per week, no matter what I did or ate. Plus, to make matters worse, the steroids were making me retain water so I was puffing up in my face and stomach. After a clear CT scan of head, which also proved I had a real, fully-functional brain, it became clear that I had some sort of allergy issue. So, the doctor took some more blood and sent it off to Dallas for some allergy tests. I couldn't believe the results.
It turns out the ONLY things I'm allergic to are dairy, eggs, peanuts, tomatoes, chocolate, and wheat. It just so happens that I just named about 70 percent of my diet. My doctor said that these food allergies, especially eaten in large quantities on a daily basis, would cause the sinus congestion and drainage, which would feed the infections, and cause all sorts of congestion in my gastrointestinal tract. According to my math, I should have lost 45 to 55 pounds in the last 7 months and instead I gained 25!
I have cut dairy completely out of my diet and I've limited my exposure to the other allergens. I feel so much better and I've lost 9 pounds in the last 14 days! The problem I'm facing now is that I was trying to keep my weight loss pace fairly slow so that I could build more muscle and allow for my skin to slowly shrink, but the general consensus is that I'm going to lose 40 plus pounds in the next few months. After these last nine pounds, the skin in my stomach has already starting to sag and ,without being too graphic, I'm starting to notice a butt crack in the middle of my stomach and the skin under my arms is beginning to sag....
I can't describe how relieved I am to have all of this behind me and I'm hoping upon hope that I don't end up looking too grotesque. I don't like enduring all of this mess and still ending up self-conscious, but the alternative is unacceptable. So, life goes on and tomorrow is a new day with new challenges and opportunities. More than likely I'll eventually have to get plastic surgery to remove all the extra skin, but at this point it can't be helped. I'll just have to keep documentation from my doctors for when Oprah calls again! Onward and upward. Tomorrow is going to be a great day!
By November, still with no weight loss, I started developing sinus infection after sinus infection. By February, the infection had spread to my eye and caused my right eye to swell shut. My eye was so badly damaged that I couldn't read or use a computer almost a month. So, I was referred to an opthamologist who referred me to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. After rounds and round of antibiotics and cortical steroids, I still saw no improvement. By this time I started gaining weight at a rate of about 3 pounds per week, no matter what I did or ate. Plus, to make matters worse, the steroids were making me retain water so I was puffing up in my face and stomach. After a clear CT scan of head, which also proved I had a real, fully-functional brain, it became clear that I had some sort of allergy issue. So, the doctor took some more blood and sent it off to Dallas for some allergy tests. I couldn't believe the results.
It turns out the ONLY things I'm allergic to are dairy, eggs, peanuts, tomatoes, chocolate, and wheat. It just so happens that I just named about 70 percent of my diet. My doctor said that these food allergies, especially eaten in large quantities on a daily basis, would cause the sinus congestion and drainage, which would feed the infections, and cause all sorts of congestion in my gastrointestinal tract. According to my math, I should have lost 45 to 55 pounds in the last 7 months and instead I gained 25!
I have cut dairy completely out of my diet and I've limited my exposure to the other allergens. I feel so much better and I've lost 9 pounds in the last 14 days! The problem I'm facing now is that I was trying to keep my weight loss pace fairly slow so that I could build more muscle and allow for my skin to slowly shrink, but the general consensus is that I'm going to lose 40 plus pounds in the next few months. After these last nine pounds, the skin in my stomach has already starting to sag and ,without being too graphic, I'm starting to notice a butt crack in the middle of my stomach and the skin under my arms is beginning to sag....
I can't describe how relieved I am to have all of this behind me and I'm hoping upon hope that I don't end up looking too grotesque. I don't like enduring all of this mess and still ending up self-conscious, but the alternative is unacceptable. So, life goes on and tomorrow is a new day with new challenges and opportunities. More than likely I'll eventually have to get plastic surgery to remove all the extra skin, but at this point it can't be helped. I'll just have to keep documentation from my doctors for when Oprah calls again! Onward and upward. Tomorrow is going to be a great day!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Quick Thought.....
I've been pretty sick and too time constrained to write, but give me a day to update you all to my medical issues now that I'm officially on the mend. I did want to share one thought....
There is an excellent waterpark where we work out so we take "my princess" there every chance we get. I have noticed, especially as the summer goes on, a great number of scantly clad 13 to 15 year old girls there and it get's me every time. My "male-dar" goes off as they walk by and then get all sorts of freaked out as I see how young they really are....
I'm not saying this to sound like a pervert, but I'm pretty sure that if my folks had taken me to the public pool more when I started getting interested in girls, I can guarantee you that I would have worked on getting skinny, fit, and confident when I was 12, 13, and 14 instead of 26, 27, and 28 years of age.
What amazed me as I started thinking about it is that there was maybe one or two guys their age for every say 10 to 15 girls there. Since I've already admitted that I missed out on growing up at he city pool, but has that always been that way? Are Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo really occupying they young minds at such a crucial time?
Just a thought....
There is an excellent waterpark where we work out so we take "my princess" there every chance we get. I have noticed, especially as the summer goes on, a great number of scantly clad 13 to 15 year old girls there and it get's me every time. My "male-dar" goes off as they walk by and then get all sorts of freaked out as I see how young they really are....
I'm not saying this to sound like a pervert, but I'm pretty sure that if my folks had taken me to the public pool more when I started getting interested in girls, I can guarantee you that I would have worked on getting skinny, fit, and confident when I was 12, 13, and 14 instead of 26, 27, and 28 years of age.
What amazed me as I started thinking about it is that there was maybe one or two guys their age for every say 10 to 15 girls there. Since I've already admitted that I missed out on growing up at he city pool, but has that always been that way? Are Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo really occupying they young minds at such a crucial time?
Just a thought....
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Is it my back, my hips, or from my belly button down that hurts?
So, it turns out that I'm getting older......
Chicago, Illinois; "the windy city." This is such a fantastic city. I happen to be in one of my favorite vacation spots because one of my favorite fraternity brothers is getting married in a few weeks and it's his last "hooray" before that long ride off into the sunset. The bachelor party. A time honored tradition and an experience that fraternity men take very seriously.
I have to say that the best man has put together quite a weekend. We're golfing at a little course on Lake Michigan this morning and then we're off to a VIP patio party as we watch the Chicago White Sox host the Texas Rangers and then it's a change of clothes into a collared shirt, washing off the long days activities, and applying cologne and, in my case, lots of deodorant, for some night clubs and evening cocktails. Then tomorrow, it's up bright and early to get home for Mother's Day festivities with my special ladies.
My fraternity brother, this weekend's bachelor, has a great apartment in downtown Chicago and the early morning golfers stayed at his home last night. It has been great. The nighttime drive to the big city, followed by some chips and pizza and John Madden football until the wee hours of the morning.
So I'm laying on an air mattress on a hard wood floor in this great downtown Chicago apartment as I was unpleasantly greeted by pain, the morning sun over Lake Michigan, and this horrible, horrible realization: "I'm getting too old for this!" I'm laying here with my back and hips in knots and I couldn't believe I was trying to think of where to find a soft piece of ground to lie and stretch before we hit the links this morning! Ashby doesn't need to stretch! Not to mention the discomfort is only being exacerbated by the one beer and three hours of sleep. Now don't get me wrong. My friend is a wonderful host and he has a great home with an absolutely incredible view of the water, but sadly...... "I'm getting too old for this."
So, as the I can see the morning sun glissen off the lake as I'm taking in the 3 part harmony of gentlemen slumber, I can't help but think about how this sunrise seems to make a new chapter in my life. With the discomfort of older age, followed by it's realization, came competing thoughts of:
"I wonder if they've got some eggs...... we need to be up and moving by 7 am tomorrow morning.... How am I going to do that with 15 other guys in two apartments...... How am I going to get my hips to move for golf...... I'm hungry, I wonder what I can make for breakfast..... Should I be cooking in somebody else's kitchen without permission? That seems rude..... I wonder where's the nearest Starbuck's...... Where are we going take "my Queen" for Mother's Day dinner? ..... I need to get a card and wrap her present.... I wonder what she's doing right now.... I need food to take my morning medicine; what can I eat???? I'm going to need food this evening to take my medicine; what should I do???? How am I going to pull this off with 15 other guys in an apartment???? I'm not getting drunk today! I'm not getting drunk today! I'm not getting drunk today! Even if I came back early to sleep, there are going to be early drunkerds that are going to be filing in as the night rolls on and it's going to be a re-telling of the night's events that I experienced and I'm just going to be a mess tomorrow..... AHHHHHH!!!!"
So, this calming sensation came over me as I pulled my laptop out of my messenger bag, found the nearest unsecured wi-fi networks (thank you "WillisTRondos crib" and your free internet), logged onto Hiltonhonors.com and found the nearest hotel to this location so that I can collect points.
"Wow, the Drake Hotel, I didn't know that was a Hilton hotel. How swanky! 129? Dollars? Not bad! Badass! I should get the breakfast buffet for $7.50. That's a good price and you know it's going to be an awesome breakfast. If I'm in by midnight, I can get up at 6:30. Get a good breakfast to make up for less sleep than I'd like and a busy yesterday, not to mention today, and then roll back over to the apartment by 8 to pick up the no doubt hungover or possibly still drunk "Dial" and "the Switzer King" (obviously not their real names or even nicknames) and be back home by noon because we gain an hour."
A frequent fly er number and a few clicks later, and hurricane of swirling thoughts and concerns rolled away and I re-gained control of my environment.
I really don't like the idea of getting older to the point of needing these extra considerations in my life; not necessarily the Drake Hotel, but legitimate meals and a decent night's sleep in order to function. Those things just didn't use to be so important. I could get by for days on $3.45 General Tso's chicken, Taco Bell, and two and a half hours sleep on a couple love seat cushions on a cold concrete floor, but those days are clearly over. I should also mention that as frustrated as I might be by these extra "guys weekend requirements," I'm more relieved that I've got a life that's actually worth the extra effort.
So, I'm going to try to work out another half hour of semi-fulfilling sleep before a very long day, but this wouldn't be my writing if I didn't quote somebody smarter or more articulate than me.....
"Oh, I'm much too young to feel this damn old......"
Here's to new beginnings!
Chicago, Illinois; "the windy city." This is such a fantastic city. I happen to be in one of my favorite vacation spots because one of my favorite fraternity brothers is getting married in a few weeks and it's his last "hooray" before that long ride off into the sunset. The bachelor party. A time honored tradition and an experience that fraternity men take very seriously.
I have to say that the best man has put together quite a weekend. We're golfing at a little course on Lake Michigan this morning and then we're off to a VIP patio party as we watch the Chicago White Sox host the Texas Rangers and then it's a change of clothes into a collared shirt, washing off the long days activities, and applying cologne and, in my case, lots of deodorant, for some night clubs and evening cocktails. Then tomorrow, it's up bright and early to get home for Mother's Day festivities with my special ladies.
My fraternity brother, this weekend's bachelor, has a great apartment in downtown Chicago and the early morning golfers stayed at his home last night. It has been great. The nighttime drive to the big city, followed by some chips and pizza and John Madden football until the wee hours of the morning.
So I'm laying on an air mattress on a hard wood floor in this great downtown Chicago apartment as I was unpleasantly greeted by pain, the morning sun over Lake Michigan, and this horrible, horrible realization: "I'm getting too old for this!" I'm laying here with my back and hips in knots and I couldn't believe I was trying to think of where to find a soft piece of ground to lie and stretch before we hit the links this morning! Ashby doesn't need to stretch! Not to mention the discomfort is only being exacerbated by the one beer and three hours of sleep. Now don't get me wrong. My friend is a wonderful host and he has a great home with an absolutely incredible view of the water, but sadly...... "I'm getting too old for this."
So, as the I can see the morning sun glissen off the lake as I'm taking in the 3 part harmony of gentlemen slumber, I can't help but think about how this sunrise seems to make a new chapter in my life. With the discomfort of older age, followed by it's realization, came competing thoughts of:
"I wonder if they've got some eggs...... we need to be up and moving by 7 am tomorrow morning.... How am I going to do that with 15 other guys in two apartments...... How am I going to get my hips to move for golf...... I'm hungry, I wonder what I can make for breakfast..... Should I be cooking in somebody else's kitchen without permission? That seems rude..... I wonder where's the nearest Starbuck's...... Where are we going take "my Queen" for Mother's Day dinner? ..... I need to get a card and wrap her present.... I wonder what she's doing right now.... I need food to take my morning medicine; what can I eat???? I'm going to need food this evening to take my medicine; what should I do???? How am I going to pull this off with 15 other guys in an apartment???? I'm not getting drunk today! I'm not getting drunk today! I'm not getting drunk today! Even if I came back early to sleep, there are going to be early drunkerds that are going to be filing in as the night rolls on and it's going to be a re-telling of the night's events that I experienced and I'm just going to be a mess tomorrow..... AHHHHHH!!!!"
So, this calming sensation came over me as I pulled my laptop out of my messenger bag, found the nearest unsecured wi-fi networks (thank you "WillisTRondos crib" and your free internet), logged onto Hiltonhonors.com and found the nearest hotel to this location so that I can collect points.
"Wow, the Drake Hotel, I didn't know that was a Hilton hotel. How swanky! 129? Dollars? Not bad! Badass! I should get the breakfast buffet for $7.50. That's a good price and you know it's going to be an awesome breakfast. If I'm in by midnight, I can get up at 6:30. Get a good breakfast to make up for less sleep than I'd like and a busy yesterday, not to mention today, and then roll back over to the apartment by 8 to pick up the no doubt hungover or possibly still drunk "Dial" and "the Switzer King" (obviously not their real names or even nicknames) and be back home by noon because we gain an hour."
A frequent fly er number and a few clicks later, and hurricane of swirling thoughts and concerns rolled away and I re-gained control of my environment.
I really don't like the idea of getting older to the point of needing these extra considerations in my life; not necessarily the Drake Hotel, but legitimate meals and a decent night's sleep in order to function. Those things just didn't use to be so important. I could get by for days on $3.45 General Tso's chicken, Taco Bell, and two and a half hours sleep on a couple love seat cushions on a cold concrete floor, but those days are clearly over. I should also mention that as frustrated as I might be by these extra "guys weekend requirements," I'm more relieved that I've got a life that's actually worth the extra effort.
So, I'm going to try to work out another half hour of semi-fulfilling sleep before a very long day, but this wouldn't be my writing if I didn't quote somebody smarter or more articulate than me.....
"Oh, I'm much too young to feel this damn old......"
Here's to new beginnings!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
